Violet, Diarrhea, and a Treadmill.

So I got up today after the first great nights sleep I’d had in over a week and decided that today was going to be great. I had a plan and I was sticking to it.
I was going to eat some great breakfast, get my math homework done (fun I know), study for my test on Monday in my Human Sexuality class (yes this is a class) and get my bathroom cleaned up. It all started great. Breakfast was good, the bathroom was off to a great start and the math homework was getting done slowly but surely.
And then… there was Violet.
For those of you who do not know my dog Violet let me give you the run down. I acquired her from one of the girls I used to work with at the AEHNT. Some fine specimen of a dog owner brought her in at 4 weeks of age and wanted to euthanize her because she was anemic. Never mind that she was anemic from the huge burden of hookworms in her belly. He had 12 more at home just like her and he wasn’t going to let this one slow him down from making his millions off of breeding and selling sub-par Pit Bulls to unsuspecting people.
I digress.
She went to live with my coworker for 4 weeks and then when she realized she could no longer keep her, I decided to take her. I had been looking for a new dog for my new house.
From the moment I brought her home and put her down she became, and continues to be, a destroyer of my peace. She is wild, hyper and crazy. Her number one favorite thing to do is run up and down my backyard fence and psychotically bark at all of the squirrels and cats in the neighborhood (which drives me right to the brink of insanity) Her second favorite thing to do is eat all of the feces she can find in the backyard (her belching and flatulence, as well as her own poop smell fantastic, I am here to tell you) Now after I have had enough(I am developing a twitch) of hearing her insanely bark and run up and down the fence I come to her third favorite thing to do which is to walk around and get into things in the house and /or vomit up all of the wonderful goodies she has found in the yard. So as a defense I purchased a treadmill for her to run on since I don’t think there is a human on this earth that has enough energy to exercise this crazy dog until she is tired. Most of the time when she is done running 5 mph with the incline all the way up for over an hour or so she will finally at least lay down for, oh I don’t know, 1 minute at a time. Sometimes if I am resting (not likely with my insane schedule) she will lie in the dog bed and sleep for a good 2 hours and then she is right back at it.
I digress again.
My day is progressing nicely, the bathroom is coming clean, my math homework is almost done and I am ahead of schedule, I decide that the fish tank could use a cleaning as well today. I head out of my office and round the corner into the kitchen and my nose is instantly assaulted by a foul smell. I look at Miss Violet who is of course on the treadmill and what do I see. Violet running on the treadmill through… what else?...Diarrhea. Let me just take a moment to recreate this scene for you folks at home.
There is a treadmill belt (moving at a pretty good clip), dog running on said moving treadmill belt, and diarrhea all over; said treadmill belt, dog and floor behind the treadmill.
Talk about a destroyer of my peace. Every other project came to a screeching halt as I carried Miss Violet outside (diarrhea of course covering her feet) and commence the cleaning of the diarrhea off of the treadmill and floor.
Now this may sound easy enough and I don’t really care to relive it at this moment but I will sum it up for you and give you the cliff notes. It took 3 towels, a roll of toilet paper, almost an entire bottle of spray cleaner, one entire hour (most of you know that I have few precious of those) as well as all of my patience for the day. And to top off this glorious event guess what Miss Violet went right back to as soon as I put her back outside….
YOU GUESSED IT!!!
Running up and down the fence insanely barking at the cats and squirrels. The great part is she was doing this as I was cleaning her disgusting diarrhea off of the treadmill.
She is now reflecting on her evil deeds in her kennel. She came closer to death today than any other day in her life including the day she was brought in for euthanasia. I just want to say thanks to Dr. N! for refusing to euthanize her and Eraine for saving her precious little life. (Can you see the sarcasm dripping off of those words?) Does anyone want a great dog? Free to a good home.